|Now everyone get ready, because beginning now, is, the first annual, MSPAFA Awards. Let's hear it for everyone involved, awright?|
This inaugural ceremony was a recognition of the outstanding talent present on the MSPAFA forums. The maximum five nominees selected for each category were chosen by a panel of judges from the submissions received from members of the forum community. Once nominations were decided upon, artists were called upon to illustrate the presentation (or in some cases, the silly competition to decide the winner) of each award.
Plus some honorary judges who
made the discussions over nominees take even longer helped out the judges with the selection process:
So many, listed beside the respective award they drew.
The MSPAFA awards were preceded by an unofficial pre-party at thriggles', before the real fun started with Cabbagehat's intro to the ceremony. Joe Peacock was reporting the festivities taking place in the Thunderdome, while Snacktime reported on the scene, introducing the judges (a humdrum lineup with the exception of cyber95 being replaced by Chip Manwich, and Soniku looking particularly androgynous.) They quickly segue to the weather when Vaccumtron goes into Evil Mode mid-interview; Mr Lithe reports "cloudy with a 25% chance of Reicats. A quick greeting from Smooth Willie to kick off the ceremony, and we open with...
Best Plot Twist Edit
Hosted by andontherone, there was mass confusion as it initially went to Overtime. The real twist was when he was kidding and it actually went to Corgi Adventure. Evil Overlord accepted the prize.
Best Mechanics Edit
SO kept it short and sweet. Winner was Sminly.
Best Suspense Edit
Seven spoiler tags, one animation of the Mutewood eye, one shock-image of Tristan, and the answer was still inconclusive.
Best Writing Edit
By Dragon Fogel
In keeping with the award, the presentation was text-based. The Gentleman that had summoned Eximo Pulvis to the Grand Battle halts the game and pulls him out to host the ceremony. The vaccum cleaner is distracted by all the cleansing that needs to be done, but they eventually get it on track. It presents the nominees, ignoring heckling that he's just a cheap rip-off of Vaccumtron. Eximo is thrown by the addition of a rather pointless addition to the nominees. The gentleman flees, Eximo just gives in to the crowd and outright declares the winner as 1984 Quest.
Best Adventure Involving a Bus Edit
The three main protagonists from the respective adventures are waiting at a bus stop. One arrives, they jump in to discover it's got a discoball and the winner is being announced on the trip. Much to Tod Laundry's disappointment, the winner is Bus Stop.
Best Story Edit
The winner of Best Story is decided by a good old-fashioned storytelling contest round a campfire. Alanna, Miranda, Winston Smith, Jormungandr, and Simon Locke all represent from their respective adventures. Miranda, Winston, Jormungandr and Simon all recount their tales in poetic and different ways, but all get topped by Alanna's cheerful recounting of accidental cannibalism. That story freaks them (and everyone) out the most, so Alanna is the winner.
Best Collab Edit
The winner of Best Collab is still in selection by the judges, one of which is trying each adventure. AF enjoyed The Family, until his character got stabbed in the head by an unscrupulous unnamed *eff. G0m makes the most disturbing Fyte Placan contestant in all of Ireland, "G0mworth the Ing0mparable G0mlord and G0mquistador". Chip Manwich (representing for cyber95) creates a fun panel on SALD, but the beauty of it is lost in translation by the next player. Lord_Paradise tries to take part in the Grand Battle, but is informed by the Director that he's in the wrong dimension. The Director then steals some popcorn and buggers off.
After all that, the winner is declared Lankie's Oneironauts. MyifanW presents the trophy to one of the dashing, trilby-sporting Dreams/Nightmares.
Best Puzzles Edit
Outside the Thunderdome, Spiff Shuttlebay, Rex O'Hurlahan, the PXL protagonist, Guybrush Futurewood, and Alanna assemble outside a puzzle-filled hedge maze. First one through takes the coveted title. Alanna gets blockaded by an Ice Door, and cannot proceed. PXL's hero lacks the pixels to build a bridge over a crevasse. Rex gets drunk and starts making accusations at the hedge, forgetting he's in a race. Guybrush gets stuck on a cypher door; while Spiff forgoes the weird puzzle shit and takes the easier route, climbing over the hedge to victory.
Best Still Art Edit
What we can assume to be g0m walks up on stage, opens a letter, and reads out the winner. Simon Locke heads up onstage to accept his award. (We're not sure why Best Still Art was drawn by one of our top animators, but hey! It's all good!)
Best Animated Art Edit
Best Animated was decided by a tire race down a snowy mountainside. Crystal Raver, Wei Kemp Norris, and Arthur rushed ahead while Hank lagged behind while playing an epic oar-guitar solo. He didn't look where he was going and crashed into a tree. Wei Kemp Norris waved him goodbye, causing him to lose his balance and spin out of control. Arthur and Crystal Raver were neck and neck down the final stretch, before Arthur nudged ahead. Crystal Raver snuck up from behind with his Drill-Whip, whacking Arthur off-course and cruising to victory.
Best Cast Edit
By SleepingOrange, Yourself, Lankie, Lord Paradise, Schazer
For Best Cast, the talented cast of each adventure had to prepare and present a musical number. The cast of Vague and Uninteresting performed "Home Again", from "The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars". Blobby Adventure's cast performed what I assume was "What a Blob's Gotta Do". A stunning rendition of "Sweet Transvestite" was performed by the cast of Mr. Fuzzleton's Funtime Adventure Quest, while we were treated to a live rock act from Edueventure, a la School of Rock. The ceremony was somewhat marred by a butchering post-production of 1984 Quest's "Big Brother Shuffle", leaving a gritty, audio-devoid mess. However, based on recommendation of the audience present at the screening it was deemed worthy enough to be the winner.
Best Combat Edit
Wei Kemp Norris, Jonathan White, Zack Finesse, Crystal Raver, and Riley assemble to duke it out and find the winner of Best Combat. The judges cut to the Thunerdome to find Zack's remains on fire, Jon's skull has been blasted by some sort of blue energy, Riley's corpse is peppered full of bolts of energy, and Crystal Raver is fortunately alive, but lodged halfway into the GodWall. On the ground is written "NO CHALLENGE." Almost as though they were expecting this, the judges order a shot of the western exit to reveal Wei Kemp Norris, the unsurprising victor, riding off into the sunset.
Best Sidekick Edit
Noms: Susie (The Deadly Dance of the Scarecrow King), Bartholomeu (Mitch and the Great Hamster Race), Morlin (The Open Canvas), Nigel's Thornberry (Space Opera: The Drip Chronicles), Trixie (Oviparous Chronometer)
This award was presented by Pirodeuce, of Super Kung Fu Z. The initial plan was for the sidekicks to do what the do best on the awards ceremony, but this was abandoned after Bartholomeu ate Pirodeuce alive. Morlin set him on fire, Susie mauled his jugular, and Trixie started to mistakenly play with his face, thinking it was a toy to raise intelligence. When the final nominee (Nigel's Thornberry) was called up the sight of the cheerful little berry was too much for Pirodeuce, who fled through a wall throwing the trophy at the Thornberry.
Outstanding Antagonist Edit
The super-lineup of super-villains arrived, to reveal their challenge was a cook-off. Bob immediately built a closely guarded bakery and did not appear for some time. Einstein used his bare hands to slice a ham into tasty slices. The Scarecrow King protested that it was too derivative of his recipe. Einstein disregarded this and punched him out of the Thunderdome. Tristan bakes a cake, and Evil Overlord puts together a delicious puppy-meat salad. G0m declares Einstein's ham the best thing he's ever tasted and awards him the prize, and gives him a high-five. Einstein dislodges g0m's lower arm.
Best Playable Male Edit
Another competition decided by a deathmatch. Things kick off with Carlyle unleashing his secret weapon, putting it on his head, and calling himself Omnus and running round like he's on crack. Responding to encouragement from the crowd, Omnus/Carlyle kicks Cyz in the nuts. He then takes on Sminly, grabbing him and holding him fatally close to his face, where Sminly licks out Carlyle's eye and gets a taste for blood. Everyone's favourite yellow blob is then slaughtered by Simon, before he and Wei Kemp face off. Here the action gets too fast for our poor commentator, and when a reprieve appears it seems Simon's taken a beating. Victory seems assured for the Chosen One when an inexplicable portal created by his hypothetical other half which would be hypothetically as strong as he was appears for plot-convenient reasons and drags the real Wei Kemp Norris away, leaving Simon the last man standing - and therefore the winner.
Best Playable Female Edit
Noms: Alanna (Alanna), Jormungandr (Jormungandr Goes to Hell), Little Crimson Hood (Little Crimson Hood - Bloody Fables in the Black Forest), Heath Enjiro ([S]mechsifying), Pious Gangster Blob (Blobby Adventures)
This line-up of delightful ladies decided to settle their differences through far less violent means - a sandwich-making competition. Alanna's entry boasts a carburetor, a full bottle of whiskey (including the bottle), barbed wire, and a severed arm. Jormungandr creates something involving a chainsaw and various bullets on bread-shaped hunks of plaid denim, topped with demon saliva. Heath assembles a club sandwich with a sniper bullet from her mecha, motor oil, bullets, and teeth of lesser men. Little Crimson Hood's contains a jackhammer and a shotgun. It's also doused in Greek Fire. Pious Gangster Blob creates a moustachioed-horse sandwich with Interloper Slime fluids on a base of Playblob magazines. The ladies sit down to appreciate their sandwiches and declare Alanna's the winner.
Best Setting Edit
The judges decide it makes most sense to visit all the locations. They firstly visit the Labyrinth Field, where they get squirted in the face by Mu-balls, examine strange outsider art on walls drawn by what appears to be kool-aid. They move on to Archipelago, which is extremely pretty and has helicopters. A quick stop in Alanna, where Myifan checks out his reflection and Archduke and g0m share cake; before finishing their tour at tic-tac-toe, where there is much confusion and hilarity over the rules (or lack thereof.)
After a fun-filled day, they declare Archipelago the best.
Best Supporting Male Edit
Presented by the residents of Alpha Complex, initially Mort|R|MPA|1 gets extremely nervous presenting the award. He is terminated for incompetence and Mort|R|MPA|2 is rolled out to do little better. Several Morts later, Annabell takes over and declares Ken Doka the recipient of the award.
Best Supporting Female Edit
The presentation begins with an appreciation of the increasing role of female characters in adventures on the forums, but the announcer quickly degrades into a sexist rant. Cleric takes everyone's frustration and epee's the unknown announcer until he relinquishes the award, which a bloodstained Cleric presents to Miranda.
Best Romance Edit
The winner of this award is decided at a restaurant where some blind dates go down. Norm and Andy awkwardly compliment each other to fill in an awkward silence. Sminly and Sminlette are too busy being adorable to be getting obviously romantic. Meanwhile, a cleanup is needed at Table 3 where the Gentleman has run off with a Hippo Lady. Maya, Lucas, and co at table MS Paint a Fairy Tale are too busy being distracted to be getting romantic - the distraction is the winners of the award, Norm and Andy, engaging in sloppy makeouts.
Best Short Form Adventure Edit
As short as the adventures which spawned it. One of the prettiest trophies awarded that night though. It went to Slugventure Yeah.
Best Completed Adventure Edit
CYOA was set to win, but poofed after hosting on an external site. To distract us all from this accident, we were offered previews of upcoming sequels to classic MSPAFAs such as: The Mutewood III: The Mutening, Tristan and Friends, 1985 Quest, and Normal, Ordinary, and Fairly Trite. The award eventually went to Alanna.
Best Inactive Adventure Edit
Much irony was to be had when Bowman went inactive while trying to get the art in on time for this one. More fun was had when he handed in his artist assignment for it. Bowman, supported by his co-stars, Tavia and Jim, went up to accept the award and start his really long acceptance speech. He was rudely interrupted by the arrival of Faceofdoomness, back from the dead at the hands of his own character, Steve the Ferryman. Faceofdoomness then claimed he was far more worthy of the award seeing as Bowman had nearly been disqualified anyway for becoming active, and he'd been inactive for months. A brawl breaks out and Faceofdoomness looks prepared to take Bowman out, before Tavia releases the secret weapon: A tin of oregano. Its powers turn Bowman Super Saiyan and he swiftly defeats Faceofdoomness with a faceful of the pungent spice.
Did I mention TMLIACDD won? If not, oops. But it did.
Best Active Adventure Edit
By none other than Andrew Hussie himself
Yup, Andrew drew the award for this, awarded to Deadly Dance. 'twas epic.
By Wesley Foxx
Lord Paradise finally has enough of these silly shennanigans and stands up and clears up the last of the awards, to the confusion of the crowd. They were: Best Text Adventure: The Dark One, other nominees were C.I.C and Spambot Adventure. Best Suspense was Mutewood in the end. Best Minor Character was Snacktime. Lord Paradise took a moment to breathe, pleased to end the ceremony on his own terms. Glancing up, he was horrified to see the Thunderdome was being crushed by a giant falling Reicat. Everyone flees from the ensuing panic as the place catches on fire.
Cameos and Crossovers Edit
Other than the ones of nominees showing up to represent their adventures:
- Snacktime and Joe Peacock from Overtime - Offered live coverage of the event.
- Mr Lithe from Archipelago - Presented the weather.
- Dwayne Poncho from Deadbeat - Fired the start gun for Best Puzzles maze race.
- A Red Herring was in the crowd cheering on Carlyle in Best Playable Male.
Lots in Wesley's final Outro, I saw... An Evo from Shadow Stabber, Panda Eyes from The Labyrinth Field, a pumpkin which I think was from Korbz' adventure... and probably more. But I couldn't spot 'em.