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DastardlyCriminalElements
You are one of the galaxy's most feared gangsters, hands down the most notorious combination bookie, loan shark, spice dealer, information broker, extortionist, racketeer, slave trader, orphan eater, and party thrower this side of the Hydian Way...
Author Thriggle
Status Complete
Genre Comedy, Sci-fi
Link

Dastardly Criminal Elements in Space is a MSPA Forum adventure by Thriggle, who also created Space Opera - The Drip Chronicles and Focus Group. The setting of the adventure is very similar to Star Wars and occasionally uses some of its terminology.

Plot[]

The main character of Criminal Elements is Leonard "Galaxoor the Drip" Roberts, an interstellar gangster who starts the story in his palace in Space Oz on the planet Munchius Prime, when he decides he needs a hat and goes to acquire one in person, along with his henchmen Squidward and Carmen Sandiego. On his way to the ship, Leonard is attacked by a few Jedi, but defeats them by dropping Muppets on them, including the Gonzoliath. However, Carmen attempts to steal Leonard's landspeeder and crashes it into the garage door, forcing Leonard to squeeze out the opening and go after his escaped underlings. Using a power droid as a vehicle, he discovers Carmen Sandiego flying a speeder-truck, which Squidward falls off of. Squidward, who has lost his jazz kloo horn, goes with Leonard to the music shop to buy a new one, and is also used as a mount for his master. On the way, they run into Leonard's information broker, Waldo, and a government pornographer who has been taking pictures of the party the whole time. Waldo asks Leonard to hide him, and Leonard stores him in his stomach in return for Waldo's hat. When Leonard reaches the music shop, he finds that his ex-wife is dating the shop's owner, the Wizard of Oz. Angrily, the Wizard zaps a ray out of his hat, which kills the government pornographer. Waldo also appears, but is made to disappear by the Wizard in an attempt to destroy the witnesses. The spell also causes the power droid to start break dancing, and it kicks Leonard's in the face. In return, Leonard schedules a duel of "full-contact murder backgammon" with the Wizard, and is given a clarinet as well. However, Leonard requests to have a more exotic instrument, and chooses a Galubrian Fromptoozler, the song of which causes both Leonard's ex and the power droid to fall in love with him. Suddenly, a Kermit with a lightsaber appears, chasing Leonard out and into the path of another government pornographer. Leonard gets so angry he yells at a random guy, whom he accidentally inhales, causing him to choke to apparent death. However, an additional epilogue reveals that Leonard survived and became a street musician.

Characters[]

  • Leonard "Galaxoor the Drip" Roberts - A Hutt crime lord from Munchius Prime. He owns a palace and several servants, minions, slaves, and other associates. Leonard possesses a very large stomach, which can hold several objects, including living beings, and keep them alive for extended periods of time. As a Huttlet, he learned to play the Galubrian Fromptoozler, and became a freelance musician named Chubby Checkers with it after his apparent death.
  • Squidward - A squid-headed jazz musician in Leonard's palace. He serves much of the adventure as one of his master's mounts transporting him. After the events of the adventure, his heart was literally stolen by Carmen Sandiego, killing him.
  • Carmen Sandiego - One of the colourful rogues of Leonard's palace. Leonard hired Carmen Sandiego, as well as Squidward, to accompany him on his quest for a hat. However, she fled on a speeder-truck early on and left Leonard and Squidward behind. She is apparently a kleptomaniac and stole several things over the adventure, after which she put her efforts in theft into education, teaching children and international detectives.
  • The Power Droid - A power droid used as a mount by Leonard after the loss of his landspeeder. The power droid is not a very big improvement over Leonard's already slow speed, forcing Leonard to improve his transport by adding Squidward under him. He became smitten with Leonard after hearing his music on the Galubrian Fromptoozler, but bonded with his ex after their mutual loss of him.
  • Waldo - A Toydarian information broker and apparently based on both Watto of Star Wars and Waldo of Where's Waldo. Waldo is seemingly wanted and must hide from others, pleading for Leonard to hide him. He was eaten by Leonard, but later appeared and was magically disappeared by a spell cast by the Wizard of Space Oz.
  • Leonard's Ex - A purple Hutt that Leonard used to be married to, and was dating the Wizard of Space Oz afterwards. Leonard was carrying her baby during the adventure, and she believed she was carrying his, but it was, in fact, Squidward's. Like the Power Droid, she was smitten with Leonard after he played the Galubrian Fromptoozler, and bonded with the Power Droid after Leonard's funeral to fill their mutual loss.
  • The Wizard of Space Oz - A wizard who owned a music store in Space Oz. Unlike his namesake, he displays great magical prowess, including a laser in his hat. The Wizard of Space Oz was dating Leonard's ex until she left for the Power Droid. His license was revoked after he killed a government pornographer with his hat-laser and is now apparently homeless. His skin changes colour in nearly every panel he is in.
  • Sir Winston - Leonard's second, Sir Winston is a small blue man who resides in Leonard's stomach, peeking out through various places such as his nose. He succeeded Leonard after his funeral and became a motivational speaker along with Leonard's baby and the guy Leonard choked on.

Crossovers and Cameos[]

  • Numerous appearances by the cast of Space Opera - The Drip Chronicles, including Bob the Drip appearing in Leonard's palace and later in his stomach, along with the alien bug.
  • According to the epilogue, the Muppets in the story are the same ones that appear in Focus Group.

Tropes Used[]

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