|you are SUPER AWESOME LAZOR MCGEE what will you do|
SUPER AWESOME LAZOR MCGEE is a thrilling action-adventure about a man with destructive lasers constantly emanating from his eyes.
The story begins with Lazor McGee standing in an open field, his lasers firing haphazadly into the sky. Next to him is a small, localised fire, which he extinguishes with his lasers. He comments that it worked better than he expected, indicating that even Lazor McGee doesn't know the full extent of his powers. He experiments further by lasering his lasers, creating an evil laser beast. This is an interesting morality issue, as the laser beast does nothing to imply that it might be evil, yet Lazor McGee knows that he must fight it. Well aware that fighting lasers with lasers is futile, he instead lasers the sun. A chunk of the sun falls to earth and crushes the lasor beast. The intense heat also causes Lazor McGee to burst into flames, although he doesn't appear to notice.
Here, the plot becomes more difficult to follow, as Lazor McGee decides to journey through the rest of sporb's adventures, and battle with the protagonists. He first travels to Escape from the Derragend Jail; his voyage to the Jail is skipped over, but we can assume the two adventures take place within the same universe. Once there, he comes face to face with Orange Shirt. This particular image is notable for being the first time we see Lazor McGee without his eyes firing lasers everywhere, although he still has red pupils.
Lazor McGee first sets about depriving Orange Shirt of his identity by lasering off his shirt. Orange Shirt is upset about this, but apparently has another one. He puts on his second orange shirt, and agrees to join Lazor McGee on his vaguely defined quest. Lazor McGee responds by lasering off his shirt again. Such hostility was poorly received by many fans, who felt that Lazor McGee was no longer relatable. However, it transpired that this was not an act of hostility at all; Lazor McGee had only removed Orange Shirt's shirt in order to equip him with some laser armor and a laser sword. In a bizarre move, he then takes away the sword and the armor, laughs at Orange Shirt, then gives them back.
Next, the two of them travel into another of sporb's adventures, The Crappy Life. This is a text adventure, and therefore Lazor McGee is unillustrated for as long as he remains in it. In a previous crossover, the unnamed protagonist of The Crappy Life released all of the prisoners from Derragend Jail and took them as slaves. It is at this point in the story that Lazor McGee arrives, and is faced with 105 slaves who are evil murderers.
- Lazor McGee
It isn't actually certain whether his full name is Super Awesome Lazor McGee, or whether that is just a descriptor. In fact, it is highly likely that Lazor McGee is just a nickname, unless he has had his laser powers since birth. Even then, who would name their child Lazor McGee? In any case, his name is McGee and he shoots lasers out of his eyes. At the start of the adventure, his laser powers seem mostly uncontrollable, but they steadily become less so. By the time he reaches Derragend Jail, he can turn his lasers on and off at will, and disintegrating a shirt while leaving its wearer intact must require some degree of skill. His actions can sometimes seem erratic, but he seems to be a generally kind-hearted fellow, and we can forgive a few lapses in morality.
- Orange Shirt
While this story ventures into the world of Derragend Jail, it is part of a seperate canon, and thus Orange Shirt can be treated as a seperate character. That said, there is not a lot to say about him, other than that his happiness seems entirely dependant on whether or not he is wearing a shirt.