|NOT A CHILI DOG|
This adventure is authored by Client#9. It is about a young man and his adventures while being naked and stuff.
Act One Edit
The story begins with a young man, Reginald Coolpants as he goes about his day at Sir Xazu's Adventure Academy. He is angry at a douchebag for stealing his quite place, where he goes because everybody is making fun of him for a mysterious incident. He steals the douchebag's doobie and goes to his crossbow handling class. Trying to drum up some conversation with the girl of his dreams, Suzy Perkins, who seems suspiciously manly, he ends up getting sent to the headmaster's office. He passes by his favorite teacher's room, Professor Supercooldudebro. Supercooldudebro gives him some grenades for his upcoming meeting with the headmaster. When Reginald gets to the headmaster's office, things get heated very quickly, and the headmaster sicks his robo-bird on him. Reginald defeats it with the grenades, which turn out to be exploding-weed-grenades, and Supercooldudebro turns out to be running a drug ring out of the school. The headmaster is impressed with Reginald's fighting prowess and gives him a package from Reginald's mysterious uncle. It is a lazer-cannon-arm. Reginald attempts to show off his new lazer-cannon to Suzy, but DEA agents infiltrate the school. Reginald with the help of Supercooldudebro hides the drugs in the crossbow handling teacher's bag. This is Reginald's least favorite, Professor Yousuckandihateyou. Reginald gets the urge to stip naked for some reason and hides in the music room where he learns how to play Ode to Joy on the didgeridoo. Yousuckandihateyou and the headmaster are arrested, and Supercooldudebro, Reginald, Suzy, and another teacher- Mildred the Swedish Dwarf Pilot, make a plan for escape. They go to get the student driver zeppelin key from the headmaster's office, taking on DEA agents as they go. During this, it is revealed that Supercooldudebro and Suzy are secret lovers. They finally escape, just as the school explodes, thanks to Supercooldudebro's cool explosion knowledge.
Act Two Edit
Columbus and Indiana Jones are on a fundraising trip for Sir Xazu's Adventure Academy because they are both famous alumni. Columbus is jealous of Jones because everybody thinks that Jones is so much cooler, and that he himself is stupid and racist. He befriends a juicebox that he names Maurice, because his psychiatrist advised him to name inanimate objects to feel as if he has more friends. When Columbus goes out to give his speech, Jones says he can't do it because he is suffering withdrawl symptoms from cocaine. Jones hasn't had any coke in three days because his dealer (Supercooldudebro) is on the run from the cops. Columbus decides to pretend to be Jones and be racist to some nearby Indians. They come after him, and he hides in Jones's room. Meanwhile, a first class government inspector, Missy Babefinger, is on a top secret case involving nudists. She finds a note in Columbus's room telling him to "Shed the suit" signed by somebody called N. She goes to Jones's room and helps them fight off the attacking Indians, and then interrogates them as to the whereabouts of Reginald and Supercooldudebro, showing them a wanted poster. Jones realizes that Supercooldudebro is the guy who stole his idol long ago and he never knew it because he had only talked to him on the phone. Because the school is destroyed and they have not fundraising to do anymore, but also because Missy doesn't want the nudists to get to them, Columbus and Jones go with her to find Jones's middle man to Supercooldudebro. During the struggle, Maurice is sacrificed and Jones pukes up his gallbladder and sells it on ebay.
While Supercooldudebro, Suzy, Reginald, and Mildred are on the run in the zeppelin, Reginald is passing time by looking up stuff on ebay on Mildred's laptop. He decides to buy a baby sasquatch. Supercooldudebro is fondling Suzy and his stolen idol in the back when three government mecha-agents attack them. During this fight, the baby sasquatch is delivered by bi-plane, and one of the mecha-agents is destroyed. Supercooldudebro detaches the cockpit of the zeppelin from the balloon and then shoots a flare up towards the cloud of hydrogen, causing a huge explosion that takes out the other mecha-agents. The cockpit sprouts a parachute, and on the way down, Reginald hears a voice tell him to call the baby Satan McMurder, but misunderstands it. The voices keep telling him to do terrible things and finally he chops open an air vent to show two medling gremlins. They deliver a note from Reginald's mysterious uncle saying that Reginald should not try to contact him, as there are complications. Meanwhile, the cockpit lands in the Giant-Fire-Breathing-Shark Sea and becomes surounded by giant fire breathing sharks. Reginald takes his government issued jumpsuit and fills it with hydrochloric acid and throws it in the airlock, killing the sharks outside. Then the gremlins try to take Nessie (as Reginald decides to call the sasquatch), but when Reginald tries to fight back, they multiply exponentially. Deciding that the only thing powerful enough to stop them is true love, Reginald kisses Suzy, making everybody feel awkward, and some of the gremlins grab the idol and go out the airlock. Supercooldudebro follows them and is presumed dead. Nessie eats the rest of the gremlins while Mildred, Reginald, Nessie, and Suzy continue on their journey.
Reginald Coolpants Edit
This young man was sent to Sir Xazu's Adventure Academy by his mysterious uncle, and because of some mysterious accident in his past, has had his hands removed and one of them replaced with a hook. He's smitten with Suzy Perkins, but subconsciously suspects that she might be a guy.
Professor Yousuckandihateyou Edit
This is Reginald's least favorite professor at the academy. He is grumpy and has a butt hole on top of his head. He teaches crossbow handling.
Suzy Perkins Edit
This young lady is secretly Professor Supercooldudebro's lover and is suspiciously manly.
Professor Supercooldudebro Edit
This is Reginald's favorite teacher at the academy. He is outrageously cool and is revealed to be running a drug dealing business out of the school. He teaches Cool Explosions Class.
The Headmaster Edit
This man runs Sir Xazu's Adventure Academy. He has a thing for weed.
Mildred the Swedish Dwarf Pilot Edit
She is a Swedish dwarf who teaches the zeppelin flight logistics class. She has a creepy liking of Reginald and is quite an accomplished zeppelin pilot.
He is a famous alumnus of the academy, but has issues with being unintentionally racist, being jealous of Indiana Jones, and talking to inanimate objects.
Indiana Jones Edit
Another famous alumnus of the academy, he is addicted to cocaine, and had a very special golden idol stolen from him recently which he will stop at nothing to get.
Missy Babefinger Edit
She is an attractive First Class Government Inspector who is working on a secret case involving nudists. She enlists the help of Columbus and Jones to track down Reginald.
It is a baby Sasquatch that Reginald purchased off of Ebay. It has a voracious appetite for gremlins.