Vague and Uninteresting Adventure is an adventure by Malkytop.
Plot[]
The story begins with the readers being informed they are a radio. A man and a woman listen to said radio then freak out and flee when it starts moving. A Non-Ghostbuster shows up and the radio kills him only half by accident. A table lamp assists The Radio in covering up the crime and ends up joining The Radio on its quest to take over the world. On their journey, an amorous Snake and a Flamingostrich join the army. The army reaches a small rustic village, where weird stuff happens with a wall socket and a woman mistakes The Radio for the Mayor and follows its orders to provide a sacrifice to stop the mayo rain crisis. The human sacrifice is unsuccessful and the real Mayor shows up. The Radio convinces them all that he is an imposter and the villagers lynch him; making The Radio the town's ruler and beginning its world conquest.
The Radio continues its hostile takeover by building a wooden robot to invade the nearest city. The Lamp manages to infiltrate the walled city, opens the door for The Radio, frees a bunch of prisoners, and wins the siege by taking the King hostage. While the clean-up and rebuilding commences, The Radio summons a mercenary Cat who only works for Mangoes and cat porn. The army eventually sets off again to find more members, as The Radio keeps facing annoying assassination attempts in the city it took over. They reach a technologically advanced Swamp Village and The Radio and the Village Chief join forces for a while, until The Chief dies saving The Radio from The Man On The Moon.
After torching The Man On The Moon's place, The Cat and The Radio find the home of an Insolent Wench Bitch, who fully ignores The Radio until it messes with her stuff. The Radio finds the Flamingostrich and the two team up to take the Insolent Wench Bitch down, with some help from some reanimated animal corpses that decorate the Bitch's house. After escaping, the regroup with the Lamp and Snake and rescue a Fan from a garbage Gnoll. The Fan joins the army and they try to invade a new kingdom through a sewer, but are waylaid in some weird gameshow.
((summary completed to bottom of page 30 - and counting.))
Characters[]
The Radio's Army[]
- The Radio
- The Lamp
- The Snake
- The Flamingostrich - A cross between a flamingo and an ostrich, rather than a highly combustible ostrich without spaces, this unusual bird was freed from a barn and became the noble steed of The Radio's army.
- The Cat - Summoned with the spell XYZZY, she is strong-willed and vivacious. She is a mercenary who is paid in mangoes, and can do almost anything if paid enough.
- The Fan
Minor Characters[]
Dr. Pompadour - A mysterious scientist who spent his spare time feeding pigeons at the park. He owned a ray gun which made things HUGE.
Barkeep - A bigoted citizen of the Rustic Amish Village who refused to allow Flamingostriches in his bar. The Radio quickly taught him the folly of his prejudices.
Chief - Noble and just leader of the Swamp Village. He bears a striking resemblance to Arthur, of Adventure in Paint.
ROBORG 6 - an interstellar being who is hated and feared by the people of The Radio's first conquered country.
Man On The Moon - An outwardly courteous host who has a disturbing love of knives, cleavers, and other sharp dangerous objects.
Sphynx - A questionably sane man who ran a gameshow in the sewers.
Cameos and Crossovers[]
In the Hat Shop of the Rustic Amish Village
Pious Gangster Blob hat (and hatstand) from Blobby Adventures
Ultradude Mask
Some sort of pointy-eared thing
The Chief of the Swamp Village has a picture of Robo-Berry on his wall, as well as a familiar helm and face on his torso.
Tropes[]
Arson and Ingestion - The Snake eats a lot of the stuff available.
Just Add Anthropomorphism - The Sun is often distressed by the Radio's violent shenanigans. Many other inanimate objects gain life for no obvious reason (including the protagonist.)
Ride Adventure Like a Mechanical Bull - A safe is opened, the arms within a swiftly retrieved and eaten by The Snake.